Being "Right"​ vs Seeking Truth: Why you can't do both

When's the last time you had an argument? It could be anything with anyone. Take a second to think about the last time you've had one.

I've had many silly arguments throughout my life. In fact, I actually love debating (read: arguing) with people. It's one of my favourite pastimes. Some of the dumbest ones include a multi-day debate about whether high-quality steel or ceramic knives are the superior tools for a chef. Neither of us even cooked much. Yet we debated it. Furiously. With the debate only ending when we agreed to disagree. But why did such an utterly dumb and irrelevant debate rage on for so long? Because I was trying to be right.

But here's the thing about "being right". It is fundamentally mutually exclusive to "truth".

Yes, you read that correctly. I am making the statement that it is logically impossible to both "be right" and find "the truth". To understand this concept, we need to first dissect the idea of being right.

The word “right” on a fundamental level implies that there is an opposing stance/opinion to "be right" against. You cannot be right in a vacuum. But here's the thing, when you try to be right, this requires you to insert your ego into the equation. Your opinion becomes the stance that you adopt, and now you are holding this in opposition to somebody's opinion. Where that other person may very well also think that they are right.

But who is actually representing the truth here? Neither party.

And here lies the great reason. When you attempt to be right, you are inserting your ego into your opinion. While there may be some level of truth inside your opinion, you have essentially encapsulated a chunk of the truth with your ego, and are now fighting on behalf of your ego, not the truth.

So you're no longer trying to find the truth, you're just trying to be right. Which is not a battle for the great noble pursuit of furthering the pursuit of truth. No. You are now just trying to win. Literally trying to beat the other guy into submission so he accepts defeat and acknowledges your amazing big brain. Congrats if you do succeed.

Truth is fundamentally an abstract concept that is impossible to wholly encapsulate within one's opinion. But that doesn't mean that we can’t seek the truth. But in seeking the truth, you also cannot be the one that represents the truth. Truth is within the metaphysical realm. Right is in the realm of the ego.

While most people may not be overtly aware, this is actually a principle used by modern science. It’s the reason why we create Null Hypothesis’: to test the opposite of our beliefs so that we are not just trying to be right. It’s the reason why we call bodies of scientific research “theories”. Because our understanding of the world is never complete, and never absolutely definite.

To help illustrate, let's use a common example in today's politics: Illegal immigration.

Sally, is a conservative and believes that illegal immigrants should be forcibly removed from the country as they have violated the law. John, who is liberal, believes that illegal immigration is a positive force for the country as it brings in hard-working individuals into the economy.

Who is right? Well. They both are, and they both aren't. It's true that illegal immigration violates the law. And it is also true that bringing in hard-working people can benefit society. But here's where it breaks down. John thinks Sally is wrong because her policies will destroy people's lives, and Sally thinks John is wrong for supporting the violation of the law.

They both think that the other party is wrong and they both believe they are right.

But the thing is, by holding their opinions so tightly, you insert your ego into it. And if your ego enters your opinion, discussions no longer become a matter of discourse, it now becomes a matter of personal pride. The truth isn't what matters anymore, anything that opposes your opinion is attacking you. To be wrong hurts your ego. You want to avoid looking dumb, to avoid the shame, to avoid your pride being hurt. You want to be right. You refuse to be wrong.

We see these debates all the time, and we often stand on one side of the fence or the other. But the thing is, everybody here is most people are acting with positive intentions in mind. But by allowing your ego to enter your opinion, you now enter a realm where you are no longer trying to find what is true. You are defending your ego.

In order to find the truth, you must fundamentally release your ego from your opinion. Truth is a metaphysical concept that exists beyond what you can simply comprehend. It is only something that we can hope to chip away at so that we can continuously learn new facts of the truth. You cannot seek to both "be right" and to seek the truth at the same time. They are fundamentally at odds with each other.

So next time you're in a debate with somebody, propose this question to yourself, and to your partner. Are you trying to find the truth, or are you trying to be right?

Because you can't do both at the same time.